Crafting Purpose

In case you haven’t noticed, college freshmen are quite the existential bunch. They struggle with the practical and the purposeful. Who can really blame them. They live in a consumer culture that tells them they can have it all. Plus, the social rhetoric of higher education emphasizes the role of colleges and universities as a factory that produces workers with practical skills, an idea that has trickled down to the K-12 sector. And yet, they live in a society that emphasizes self-help, personal fulfillment, and being true to oneself. Is it any wonder why we are witnessing a culture of undeclared freshmen, multiple major hopping, and decreasing rates of retention as the norm?

As an instructor, I realize my curriculum falls woefully short in fulfilling a student’s desire for purpose. Frankly, this is a job for a spiritual advisor or self-help guru, not an educator. But often, students confuse the two roles. They look to us for answers, if they seek any answers at all.

So if you view your career as a calling, here are a few ideas to consider.

Be on the lookout. I teach a course with no prerequisites. Curious freshmen looking for an interesting elective to complement their schedule frequently enroll. My roster alerts me to the presence of these usually undeclared individuals. I take the initiative to engage these students outside of class. Generally, a discussion about an assignment morphs into a question about our program. Sometimes, I initiate the conversation. “I noticed you are undeclared. You really have a natural ability in X. Have you considered such-and-such as a career path?” Students are usually taken aback. Most of the time, they are grateful. They wrestle with questions about their future and don’t think that anyone ever notices them. It also increases your influence in a student’s life in a positive manner. You become a mentor - all because we noticed them.

In-depth advising. I’m not referring to advising in the official sense. It’s not uncommon for faculty to advise students whom they do not know. If you do know the student and can implement this idea, feel free to use it. 

We advise students on degree program requirements and program offerings. This is good and right to do. Sometimes it is useful to go one step further. We need to relate the student’s abilities and desires into their program.

For example, a student was deciding on two equally viable degree options. However, the student viewed both options as a hindrance to starting a family in the future. This discussion clued me in to the student’s values of family and parenting. She’s quite bright and will be very successful in her career. I also understand the pull of family. So, I painted a picture of how to meld her values and career together. She left enlighten. We need to connect the dots for students.

I love career counselors. I really do. I send students to their offices all the time. Some of the evaluation tools are quite elaborate. In the end, they receive a list of possible career options. But unless the same dot-connecting occurs, students are still lost. They come back to my office expressing their frustration. They are still learning how to see life in a long term perspective. When we focus solely on course offerings on a checklist, we overlook the student entirely and the opportunity to model an important life skill.

Develop rapport. Professors are human too. You chuckle, because you know it’s true. We fail to communicate this truth to our students. We are but experts in our field. Yet, they mistake our authoritative nature for disinterest, elitism, or worse, disdain. They are aware of the hierarchy. 

It’s a comfort to them to communicate that we felt uncertainty. We stumble. We face the same battles they face.This glimpse into shared humanity is what creates rapport.

Building rapport is not the same as friending students. Rapport is a necessary component to professional success. We develop rapport with colleagues. We call this collegiality. 

Developing a rapport with students opens up the conversation. They know that we see them as human beings and individuals, not just a student number or a filled seat in a lecture hall. Once this occurs, we help them to marry the practical with the purposeful. As you know, the two are mutually exclusive ideals.

Do you have other suggestions or questions? Please submit a comment.

Losing Myself

Identity is a harrowing word fraught with anxiety and misunderstanding. It’s not uncommon for young adults to realize that who they are, and who they will be doesn’t always mesh with who they thought they were, who their parents want them to be, and who society expects them to be. Often, an academic crisis is really an identity crisis clothed in unrealistic expectations.

A study by the American Psychological Association in 2011 presents the following disturbing trends among college students:

• ·         One-third of students reported depression and anxiety so severe that it impeded their ability to    function in college.

• ·         The most common mental conditions plaguing students are depression, anxiety, panic attacks and ADHD.

• ·         College students reported feelings of hopelessness (45%) and overwhelming anxiety (50%) most frequently.

You can read the full report here.

My intention is not to diagnose a pre-existing medical condition. I’m not a clinician. However, I do interact with students who express these feelings while visibly distressed in my office. It’s becoming a more common phenomenon.

What I can do, as a communication scholar who writes about identity, is provide a new perspective for those of you who struggling to figure out who you are now.

This is a normal rite of passage. There are two types of people – those who handle uncertainty without the appearance of doubt, and those who fall apart. Everyone will experience uncertainty. Some people just look like they are at peace and in control. It is wise not to idolize them. This may indicate an inability to handle stress appropriately by suppressing anxiety and ignoring reality. Speak to those who have gone before you. Talk to professors, older students, and other adults in your life. You will discover that we all go through a crisis of self every once in a while.

Identity is created, and therefore, it can be changed. Identity is socially-constructed, which means society (especially family members) influence who you are. You are not a beautiful unique snowflake. You are a carefully crafted piece of art. I’ll spare you all of the theories that explain this, but we tend to gravitate toward whatever people think of us. As you enter adulthood, you make a conscious decision to accept or reject those notions. If you were a good student (an idea reinforced and encouraged by parents, teachers, school counselors, etc.) and you fail an exam in college, your identity will be challenged, and so will your ability to cope with this new information. This often causes anxiety. If your parents want you to major in one area, but you decide to another, this will cause anxiety.

If identity is created, then it can be changed. More specifically, you can change it. Your identity will change several times over the course of your lifetime. You will have to process what it means to be a spouse, a parent, a coworker, a senior citizen, and retired. You may have to struggle with the identity issues that come from a divorce, illness, or disability. Each time, you will redefine what it means to be you. Rather than despair over these changes, embrace the changes.

As the band Switchfoot asks “this is your life/are you who you want to be?” Removing the stressor does not solve your identity issues. You will still struggle with this question with fewer answers in sight and prolong the stress.

Not everyone will accept this change and accepting non-acceptance is a mark of adulthood. Parents are a great ally. They can also be your worst enemy. When I speak to student about an academic issue, the ghosts of the parents are often in the room. Fear of disappointing parents frequently causes a student to become immobile. Sometimes that fear is real, and sometimes it is perceived. Part of adulthood is making a logical decision and standing beside your decision (always respectfully). Parental authority wanes and eventually is replaced with bosses, spouses, children, churches, neighbors, friends, and other people who make demands on your time and attempt to shape you into what you want they want you to be. Healthy, successful, mature adults learn to set boundaries and stand up for their own convictions.

College is temporary. I can’t emphasize this enough. The college experience is fleeting. Ask anyone who is preparing to graduate. You just transitioned into college life only to enter into real life. Please put this experience into perspective. You will survive. You will grow. You will move on.

Know when to say when. Maturity is also knowing when to seek help. You will enter numerous stages in your life and sometimes without adequate warning. If this first transition into adulthood is difficult, seek help from a counselor at your school. They will teach you these skills. There is no shame is seeking help. I speak from experience.